


Hypodermics at Twenty Paces

by SummerReign



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Duelling, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Most underrated MASH duo., There aren’t enough Charles and Hawkeye stories., just having fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27277489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerReign/pseuds/SummerReign
Summary: Hawkeye challenges Charles to a duel. Charles accepts.
Relationships: Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce/Charles Emerson Winchester III
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Hypodermics at Twenty Paces

It was a long, grueling session in the OR. The tension was high and tempers were short. Charles and Hawkeye were engaging in their typical arguing and verbal sparring while operating. Finally, an exasperated Hawkeye snapped at Charles, “That’s it, Buster! It’s hypodermics at twenty paces!”

“You’re on, Pierce!”, retorted Charles. 

“Cut the dueling and do some cutting!”, interjected Colonel Potter, who decided it was time to put a temporary intermission to the two hot-headed surgeons’ constant bickering. Charles and Hawkeye quieted down so they wouldn’t incur the wrath of their fearless leader. 

The next morning in The Swamp, Hawkeye was rudely awakened by a shake of his shoulder. He opened his eyes to find Charles standing by his bed. 

“What the heck was that for?”, demanded a semi-awake Hawkeye. 

“Don’t you remember what you said to me yesterday, Pierce? You challenged me to a duel and I accepted. Now, we must go duel.”, said Charles. 

“What the... I was only teasing you, Charles!”, Hawkeye groaned as he buried his face into his lumpy, army-issued pillow. 

“Come on, Pierce!”, Charles singsonged. “A duel is a duel, and I found the biggest hypodermic needles that I could and already filled them with water.” 

“OK, OK!”, Hawkeye moaned as he reached for his fatigues. “Let’s go”. 

The two men walked outside into the compound. Charles handed Hawkeye a hypodermic and took one for himself. “We will start by standing back-to-back. We will each take twenty paces forward, then we will each turn around and fire.”, explained Charles as he and Hawkeye stood with their backs to each other. 

“OK, let’s start this.”, said Hawkeye. The two of them started to take their twenty steps forward in their respective directions. Hawkeye had barely taken his fourth step before he felt the water on the back of his head. 

“You sneak! Very clever!”, Hawkeye admonished Charles with a giggle.

“Come on now, Pierce! You were going to do the same thing to me.” Charles couldn’t help but smirk and chuckle. 

Hawkeye had to admit that Charles was right. He squirted him with his own needle. “You know what, Charles? I should go and try to find the water guns that Trapper and I had. We used to troll Frank by switching them out with his own gun.”

“Ah yes, the infamous Major Burns. Sounds more like you had to do that for self-preservation.”, snorted Charles, who had heard some of the wild stories about his and Hunnicutt’s predecessors. 

“He’s a lieutenant colonel now.”, spat Hawkeye. 

“Surely, you jest!”

“I don’t jest, and don’t call me Shirley”. 

Hawkeye got the squirt guns. Charles got more water. The two of them spent a little time in the early morning sun dueling and spraying each other with the water guns. Even Charles had to admit that he was having fun. Soon, it would be time for reveille and breakfast and the rest of the camp would wake up, but for now, the two grown men were by themselves just acting like silly little kids having some good, childish fun. The war, destruction, devastation and death surrounding them in Korea temporarily forgotten. Colonel Potter watched them from Sophie’s stable where he was tending to her and smiled. 


End file.
